Few days back, I got a news that one of my professor committed suicide. I was totally shocked to hear that. He was a gem of a person, the happy-go-lucky types. Since then, hundreds of question are not seeming to stop popping up in my mind. After all, when someone we know /knew takes such a step, totally shocks us. It’s not so easy to gulp the fact and accept the truth that s/he’s no more.
I always wondered that what it is that drives people to commit suicide. Whenever I hear /read about someone committing suicide, the first question that pops up in my mind is what kind of problems do those people have that they are forced to take such a drastic step. Is it the problem that is a problem or is their ability to handle problem? Confused? ❓ I mean it’s not at all easy to commit suicide. Where do they get so much courage from? The courage to just lie down on a railway track? 😯 So much willpower to just jump off a tall building or even the easiest option like its said, 🙄 eat poison or some sleeping pills. The easiest option too, does not seem any easier to me, forget about the rest of them. (that does not mean I’m planning to commit suicide, just saying). It’s definitely not everybody’s cup of tea.
Anyway, the point of this post is for those people who really hate their lives or everyone /everything around them and eventually end up committing suicide. Are these people really mentally or emotionally weak? Because had it been so, where would they have so much courage and willpower to take any of the above mentioned step. 🙄 The point I’m trying to make clear is that when they have so much courage and willpower, why not use it in a positive way. I know it’s easier said then done, but it’s definitely worth it. Sometimes people want to go back to their past and start things all over again. I don’t understand what’s the point in saying this when every sane human being knows that this is not going to happen. Mistakes happen. If you make a mistake and you wish to go back and change it, you’re mistaken again. Because what’s the guarantee that you would not make the same mistake again. ❓ It’s simple– You can’t change what you’ve done. So instead of dreaming to go back in the past and change things, Why not turn the clock around and start a new life and try to improve yourself.
The prime factors responsible for people being suicidal are depression, loneliness, etc. The reasons that a person becomes depressed are loss of control over his/her life and emotions, loss of hope about a positive future.
Teenagers commit suicide for stupid reasons like failing in examination or even the worst, when their boyfriend /girlfriend ditches them. I don’t understand, is any examination important than your life? Is the person whom you know only since a few months or probably years, more important than your family?
“Problems, are to be solved. They are a part of our lives. All that matters about life is getting ready for the next one.” Only worrying about what you’ve never had or what you’re going to have is useless. Life sucks; everyone knows that, but you’ve got to have faith in what you’re doing. If you can’t handle the truth now, you never can because things only get harder, not easier. Drugs, alcohol, and sleeping pills can always cheat your current situation for a while. They’d take you to your imaginary world where there’d be no place for frustration, pain, worries like that of the real world. But finally you hit reality and you’ve to live with it. SO. just be happy with what you have and care about the people who are around you. Don’t wait for others to make you feel better or give you what you want. Do it yourself. The answers lie in our day-to-day efforts to help ourselves.
Suicide is not a solution, it is only an end before a solution can be found. It’s just a permanent solution of a temporary problem. It can neither be considered as an option, for an option means we have a choice but death deprives us of both, option and choice. Death is an irreversible act that does not end the pain, for it remains in those who are left behind.
Life is meaningful only when it’s painful and you still survive through it. If you were born to be a person with everything you wanted and without pain, you would be nothing at all. So, don’t lose hope. Don’t ever give up!
Aaaahh, feels so good to write a post after so many days! 🙂
I wanted to write about The Wall Project since Sunday, but something or the other kept me away from writing. Two days back I sat down to write about it but could not write a single line. I could hear my inner voice saying “Abhi nahi, baad mein (Not now, later)”. After 4 days of procrastination, I’m finally writing this post. Ohh that makes me realize that I’m turning into a lazy bum. 😀 Anyways should we get back to the topic? 😛
Okay, the second phase of The Wall Project took place on Sunday (25th October, 2009), the first one being on 15th August 2009, which we missed. By we I mean, Me and Anubha. So the next day itself she told me that we’re gonna attend the second one for sure and I readily agreed because I love Painting! As we didn’t wish to miss the second phase as well, we’d started planning about it almost a week before Sunday.
1 day before the event.
Me: Hiee. you coming tomm for the wall project?:
@skyn3t (Neeraj): yes, I’m coming.
Me: Ohh kool. Even I’m coming tomm and this time – for SURE. 😉 =)
The uppercase effect for the word ‘SURE’ was because Neeraj thought I was a ‘taangu’ (one who ditches at the last moment) and I wanted to assure him that this time I’m not going to ditch them – for SURE . I didn’t, rather couldn’t attend the BarCamp of which he was one of the organizers and so he wanted me to attend it. And the second reason being I didn’t accompany them (Anubha, Neeraj and a few other tweeters) for the film ‘Blue’. Now ‘Blue’ was a movie, I wouldn’t have watched even if someone gave me free tickets. By saying so, I literally mean it. Neeraj had free tickets and still I didn’t go with them. These were the reasons that Neeraj had an image of me being a ‘taangu’.
So, the three of us decided that we’d reach there by 8:00am, so that we get the best wall and also some free paints which were limited. Anubha SMS’d me before sleeping that she would wake up by 7:30am and give me a call the moment she wakes up. I was sure that she wasn’t going to wake up before 8:00am. 😀 I set my alarm to 7:45 am and went to sleep. I checked my cellphone after the alarm went off in the morning. No calls from Anubha. But wasn’t this expected? hehe 😀 There was no use calling her, because even if a person dies calling her up, she would not receive calls when she’s asleep. (Please, don’t kill me for this Anubha 😉 ) So, even I went to sleep. *Bhurrrrrrrrrrrrrr Bhurrrrrrrrrrrr* My pillow started vibrating and I knew it was Anubha. I checked the time. It was 9:30 am.
Me: Ha bol na.
Anubha: Abhi uthi main just. Tu?
Me: Uthi thi subah, par vapas so gai.
Me: Kitne baje jaana hai?
Anubha: Tu bol.
Me: Meko kabhi bhi chalega.
Anubha: Thik hai, 11-11:30 tak nikalte hai.
Me: Hmm, okie.
Anubha: Tujhe sona hai kya aur?
Me: Ha, I’m sleeping again for sometime. *shameless me :D*
Anubha: Thik hai, main bhi soti hoon 10 baje tak! *hehe, copycat :P*
Me: Thik hai.
Anubha: Uthke vapas phone karti hoon.
Me: Okies. Bye.
I set my alarm to 10:00 am and went to sleep again.
*Bhurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Bhurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr* It was Anubha again. We decided that we shall get ready now and leave by 11:30am.
I reached Mahim at around 1:30 pm. Anubha and Alisha had already reached there. By the time I reached there, they had bought some colors, mugs, brushes and a roller. We were so excited by looking at other paintings that we wanted to start painting as soon as possible. We got geared up and started painting. 🙂 Alisha decided to paint alone on a wall, whereas I and Anubha did it together. By the time we were painting the Canvas (wall background), Alisha finished her painting. She drew the unicorn.
Neeraj joined us a little later and helped us in painting the canvas of the uneven, dirty wall. I think it was 4:00PM and we were still painting the canvas. Alisha too, helped us in doing that. People around us had finished their paintings and were already leaving, whereas some people had just come and started with the painting work. By the time we finished painting the wall background (canvas), we were totally exhausted. All of us were hungry like anything. But somehow we started painting the ‘Bandra-Worli Sea-Link’. After completing, it turned out be nothing like I’d thought/Imagined. Ashwin described it the BEST. He said, “Do you call those white lines as the ‘Bandra-Worli Sea-Link’?” LOL 😆 We thought that the boat and the moon were way better than the sea-link 😀
We even wrote our twitter handles on the wall.
We clicked a lot of photos giving weird and funny poses! 🙂
Some of the paintings near Mahim station –
All in all, it was an awesome experience. It felt great to see so many different types of people, all coming up together at one place and painting, be it the street kids or the professional artists. At the end of the day we could feel a sense of proud that we did our bit in beautifying our very own city – ‘MUMBAI’. The happiness we could feel was just indescribable.
It’s truly said that – “The best things in life are free”.
It was truly a well-spent Sunday! 🙂
“Learn to say ‘no’ to the good so you can say ‘yes’ to the best.”
No. Nah. Nope/Nopes. Is it so difficult to say these words? 🙄 Yes, it is. I agree saying “Yes” is much more easier than saying “No”, but at what price to your peace of mind? Many of us grow up to be people pleasers (I’m kinda one of them). 😀 The word “No” drops out of our vocabulary, and we substitute lots of ways to be agreeable and keep the other person happy.
People who have difficulty saying “No” often believe that they are expected to say “Yes”. Deep down if they really wish to say “No”, but are unable to, tampers their peace of mind. They feel they’re constantly under some pressure. It eventually becomes a burden. 😦
“Yes and No are very short words to say, but we should think for some length of time before saying them.”
Everyday there are countless requests waiting for you from people surrounding you. By people I mean, your friends or even family members and sometimes people whom you don’t even know. When people always expect something or the other from you, does not mean you’ve to always say “Yes” to them and do their work. Sometimes your work is of much more importance than theirs. In situations like these, saying “No” can be good for you, instead of being a yes man all the time. And saying “No” isn’t a selfish act that you’ve to feel guilty about. Let go of the guilt, because if you don’t, then it’s only going to add stress in your life.
I’m also not saying that, you’ve to always say “No”. Sure, there are some instances when someone really needs your help to complete some work or anything. This is the right time to say “Yes”. So, the trick here is to prioritize the things that you feel are important to you and let go of others.
The best ways to say “No” is to say the truth. Lacking confidence and giving lots of reasons supporting your “No” to convince the other person that you mean it can sometimes backfire you. 😆 Because when the lie is exposed, you’ll need some other reasons to support your lie. 😀 Giving stupid reasons sure won’t help, infact it will only hurt the other person. 😥 So, the truth is always the best way to turn down a friend, a family member or co-worker. 🙂
Saying “No” won’t be easy if you’re used to saying “Yes” all the time. But learning to do so is very important. I sometimes feel small kids are better than us, atleast they know when to say “No” and they are so adamant while doing it. 😉 😛 We need to learn somethings from them.
Atleast I wanna learn it. 😛 🙂
Life is like a train journey. 🙂 Like people board and alight the train, similarly in life’s journey many people come and go from our life. Some are good, some are bad. Some of them stay forever in our life, whereas some enter, stay for a while and then they make an exit for some reason or the other. 😦 They might come back or might not, but this should not shatter/affect us. These people are like passengers. We need to learn to handle such situations because everything happens for a reason. After all, nothing is permanent in life. At the end of all this, we have a lesson to learn that, every person who came into our life had a purpose to serve.
Sometimes I wish we could force some people we love, to stay in our life forever. But then if they don’t go away, we would never be able to understand how important they were to us. When people who are really close to us go away from our life, we get hurt. 😥 But then in the end we realize that their part in the story was over, so they had to leave. There was a purpose that they came into our life. Once the purpose is served they just walk out of our life. They change us in some way or the other, all for the good and we are no more the same. In the end we’ve nothing more to do than just say, “jo hua acche ke liye hua 😉 (Whatever happened, happened for the good)”.
People come and go, we change, everything around us changes, but life – goes on… 🙂
Everybody needs a reality check. It depends on you, how you take it, positively or negatively and this varies from person to person. The ones who take it negatively will continue to see faults in every situation. Like it’s said, “A pessimist does not see the pros of a situation, he can only point out the cons.” And that is so very true. If your frameset is such that nothing good will ever happen/ has ever happened to me then, it actually won’t happen.
Having a positive attitude can help a person appreciate life more. 🙂 It’s like looking more into the good things in life rather than the bad ones. One has to be content with whatever he/she has in life. Just imagine if you cannot walk or talk anymore or see the beauty that is all around you. 😯 Many people realize this only after losing these valuable things. So why not appreciate life in general and the many things that you can still do and thank God for it.
Problems help us to test our ability to deal with life and to survive in the worst situations. People are hurt, when things do not happen the way they want. And then they keep on cribbing about the smallest of things. 😥 For example, I asked for a small round ice-cream cake with a cherry on top and I got a 3-tier German chocolate cake with an extra supply of mango souffle and butter cookies. 😛 Now, that’s great. But the point is, where is my small round ice-cream cake with a cherry on top? 🙄 Is that too much to ask for? 😦 No, it isn’t too much to ask for. It was never too much. But maybe someone thought they would give you more than you wanted assuming that would make you happier. But they assumed wrong, didn’t they know you wanted just that one small cake, and all the big ones in the world cannot make up for the fact that you didn’t get the one you really wanted. (P.S This example is taken from a TOI article. 😀 )
But, you’ve to understand that things don’t always work out the way you want. I know, it’s difficult to accept things that happen against us and eventually give us pain.
“The quickest way to change your attitude toward pain is to accept the fact that everything that happens to us has been designed for our spiritual growth.”
It’s simple, you’ll never get everything you want in life. And one has to accept this as a matter of fact at some point of time. Your maturity and the strength to accept the truth make you realize this. But your maturity and strength as a person are not measured by how successful you are in life, rather it’s measured by your willingness to accept the truth and admit defeat when you’ve lost. Acceptance is not ceasing to fight or to admit defeat, it’s actually embracing the truth and welcoming the fact that for some reasons these things had to happen.
“Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgement of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you’re going to do about it.”
Once you’ve come to terms with acceptance, life becomes easy. Things become crystal clear and adding to that, the peace of mind you get is just amazing. It’s actually indescribable. 🙂 After that you know which path to choose to reach your goal and eventually achieve success.
“Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.”
Only expecting things to happen the way you want is extremely foolish. You also need to work in that way to make them happen. The bottom line is ‘Expectations always hurt and Acceptance leads you to success along with peace of mind.’ One has to understand that whatever happens, happens for a reason. But these reasons are not known or understood by humans. Once you start accepting things the way they are, you have to have faith in God too, that he has a much better plan for you. There is something else waiting for you. 🙂
“That is the definition of faith — acceptance of that which we imagine to be true, that which we cannot prove.”
“Accept everything about yourself — I mean everything, you are you and that is the beginning and the end — no apologies, no regrets.” 🙂
“It’s never too late to take action.”
Its 2:20 AM and I’m here sitting with my Compiler textbook with no intention of opening it and studying anything. 😀 I am not sleepy too. So I thought what better than writing my very first post. I was looking for a nice and interesting topic to start my blog since quite a few days or should I say almost a month. But then eventually I decided, keeping it simple and straight-forward would be much better. In the mean time I did write 1-2 posts but left them halfway thinking that those weren’t appropriate to start with. Doesn’t matter, I would post them sometime later.
Okay now the much-awaited question…
Why did I start Blogging?
Hmm, I had been wanting to start blogging since a very long time, but the procrastinator that I’m, I kept on delaying it. Also, I wasn’t sure whether I could manage doing it. I mean entering the blogosphere is really easy but surviving in there is difficult.
Coming back to the point, as a child, I always wanted to write a personal diary, but belonging to a middle-class Mumbai-based family, not all of us enjoy the privacy needed to write personal diaries and stuff like that. Now, there wasn’t anything that I would not have liked to be read by someone. But after all, a personal diary is a personal one- not supposed to be read by anyone. So I never took up the idea of writing one. Years passed and that wish of mine remained a wish. 😦
Almost a year back, a friend of mine introduced me to the world of blogging (She had just started blogging, then). I used to really enjoy reading her posts and used to actually look forward to reading them. :). And I must say she writes really well. Okay, let me disclose her name, enough of addressing her with she’s and her’s. It’s Anubha (You can check out her blog).
The bottomline is, her blog inspired me to start writing one. I also started reading blogs of other people. Somewhere I had entered the blogosphere but was always behind the camera, not in the front. 😉 Slowly all this awakened the deep down buried desire in me of wanting to write a personal diary. Although, there’s a lot of difference in writing a personal diary and a blog, it’s all about expressing your views, the way you think, the way you feel, etc. So, here I’m, new into this world of blogging. I hope to survive here for long. 🙂
Oh my God, it’s 3:21 AM. I think I should go to sleep now.
By the way, Welcome to my Blog. And Thanks Anubha 🙂